Joseph’s Story

On reflection there were some symptoms – fatigue and general bowel ill health. At the time I didn’t believe I had symptoms – and the colonoscopy I had was part of routine screening following a period of general ill health a number of years prior.

[it was] bizarre – waking up from the procedure to be told I likely have cancer and am going straight for a CT (?) scan. I had my dad with me which helped. A few days later I got the call that it was positively identified as cancer and I was booked in for surgery quickly.
Almost 4 years in remission/surgically ‘cured’

I have since had a son – he is 18months old now. I was worried whether he would be genetically predisposed to cancer of some form – but testing has confirmed that is not the case. I think I am possibly oversensitive to ill health (physical and mental) as a result of the diagnosis.

There was so little time between diagnosis and surgery that I don’t believe I truly processed it. I went back to work after the recommended recovery period – and struggled hugely. Physically – with long drives, but mainly mentally. On reflection I wonder whether there was a PTSD element – as the realisation that what I faced could have been terminal only came much later.

There was an extended period of fear – that has only recently abated, which related to me feeling guilty for getting a second crack at life and not making the most of it (as so many folks who are diagnosed don’t). I think I’ve heard it described in other settings as ‘survivors guilt’.